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Sonic Sematary/Transcript
(Intro) (Title Card) (A skateboard park is shown, with Sonicthehedgehog223 getting ready to go, and the users are watching.) Willdawg14: “ Sonic, are you SURE you want to do this? “ Sonicthehedgehog233: “ Of course I am. You may not know this about me, but I am an expert at skateboarding. “ MatthewSmarter: “ Okay, cause you’re starting to sound like Daddy Pig. “ Sonic: “ No, I don’t! Hey guys, watch this! “ (Sonic rolls down the ramp on his board, and then flies into the air.) MatthewSmarter: (whispers to Willdawg14) “ He’s not gonna make it. “ Willdawg14: “ I know he’s not gonna make it! “ (Sonic tries to land safely, but loses control and crash lands on the road.) Users: “ Ooooooo! “ MatthewSmarter: “ Told you. “ Sonic: (barely breathing) “ I’m okay, you guys, I’m-“ (a truck drives by and runs him over) Willdawg14: “ Oh my god! “ MatthewSmarter: “ I saw that coming, too. “ (Later, at the cemetery, everyone in Peppatown has gathered for Sonic’s funeral. Peppa looks into the casket.) Peppa: “ Um... where’s his body? “ Willdawg14: “ Oh, we didn’t bring the body. We don’t know what to do with it yet. “ MrsWhatever40: “ Yeah, we’ll talk about it after. “ Peppa: “ Okay. Are you going to shrink it down to a small size so it can be with elves and fairies? “ Willdawg14: “ What is it with you and elves and fairies? “ Peppa: “ I don’t know. Why haven’t the other users spoken yet? “ Oreo-And-Eeyore: “ I don’t know. Why haven’t- (sees everyone’s left) Oh, darn it! “ (Later, at a bar, all the users are sitting at the counter.) Oreo-And-Eeyore: “ Guys, I never thought I’d ever have to say this, but what are we gonna do with the body? “ Willdawg14: “ I don’t know. We should take it out with the trash. “ MatthewSmarter: “ Yeah, or we could dump it into a river like in the olden days... “ Old Farmer: (off-screen) “ Well, that’s not gonna get ya anywhere, now is it? “ (The users look at the farmer, who is sitting at a table.) Oreo-And-Eeyore: “ Uh, who is that? “ Willdawg14: “ I know who he is, but at the same time I DON’T know who he is. “ Old Farmer: “ You boys better not waste your time. Dumping an animals carcass in the river is like slicing a blade ‘cross ya neck and letting ya self bleed to death. “ MatthewSmarter: “ Ew. “ Oreo-And-Eeyore: “ Look, mister, we have a tough decision to make here, so just leave us alone- “ Old Farmer: (looks at them) “ I don’t think so, kissy-face. “ Oreo-And-Eeyore: “ Kissy-face? (Looks at himself) Oh, right. “ Willdawg14: “ I’ve got it! We should just bury him in the cemetery and forget this whole thing! “ Old Farmer: “ Nah, nah. Ya can’t bury an animal in an animal in a human cemetery. That just wouldn’t be right. Lotta history down that road. “ MatthewSmarter: “ How do you know we we’re talking about an animal? “ Old Farmer: “ You want your friend to have a proper burial, dont’cha? You oughta bury him in the old pet cemetery on the outskirts of down. “ Willdawg14: “ A pet cemetery? “ MrsWhatever40: “ Man, we should have though of that! “ Old Farmer: “ Yuh. There’s a lotta history down that road, too. Used to be an ancient burial ground for a cult. They practiced manslaughter and killed anyone who glanced them the wrong way. The whole land used to belong to an old man. He murdered any teenagers that happened by and kept their bodies in a freezer. Then he’d rip off their frozen body parts and grind ‘em into ice cubes for a nice Coca Cola on a hot summer day. There are also some wild animals prowling the land. Perverted ones, too. They’ll scratch your hineys until you find yourself peeing blood. “ MrsWhatever40: “ Ewwwww... I HATE Coca Cola! “ Old Farmer: “ Yuh. Nothing on me, though. Ya’ll can drive down there to bury your friend. God bless his soul. Just make sure you don’t get yourself killed. “ (The users look at each other, unsure.)